


Abandonment

by citizenjess (givehimonemore)



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-21
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 23:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/729119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givehimonemore/pseuds/citizenjess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of similarly themed drabbles focusing on, basically, how Obi Wan never catches a break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abandonment

**Author's Note:**

> Written circa-2006 during a weekend of 'fic dumping. I think the theme is pretty easily evident. I also think Obi-Wan is probably the unluckiest S.O.B. in the entire Star Wars saga.

1.

He had abandoned Qui-Gon once.

The Jedi Order, too, but the look on his Master's face had been much worse than the Council-mandated penance when he returned. It was during a mission to war-torn Melida/Daan, unable even to compromise its name. He had wanted to stay, to fight, and Qui-Gon refused.

He raised his lightsaber to his Master, then, and Qui-Gon left alone.

Admitting his mistake had been difficult; admitting that Qui-Gon had every reason to disbelieve he was sorry had been horrific. He'd abandoned him at a crucial hour; long after Qui-Gon forgave him, he was shamed by that.

2.

Qui-Gon had abandoned him forever.

It was terrible to think poorly of the man who had battled the first known Sith Lord in centuries, of the person he'd loved desperately since he was thirteen; but curled up near the dying embers of his Master's funeral pyre, it came to mind nonetheless.

Qui-Gon had left him there, alive, saddled with a child when he was still one himself. He wasn't ready, he swore; this wasn't fair. He would have died for this man, and in his final moments, all Qui-Gon could say was, "he is the Chosen One".

Him. Not Obi-Wan.

3.

Anakin was steadfastly loyal, almost to a fault.

Obi-Wan worried at this trait, trying to instill in Anakin the notion of releasing attachments, letting his head rule instead of his heart. Simultaneously, he wondered at the ease with which Anakin loved, envious of it, even. It was not something Jedi admired, but as a man, it thrilled him.

Anakin would never willingly abandon him - he knew this as certainly as he did his own name. His Padawan would never be the one to sever ties. It just wasn't in his character.

Secretly, Obi-Wan knew it was in his, however.

4.

He had not wanted to abandon Anakin.

Time and love seared impressions into his soul, and just the notion of what he set out to accomplish on Mustafar sickened him. He'd begged Yoda to reconsider, to let him fight Palpatine instead, but he understood why he couldn't: the Jedi had already lost Anakin. They needed Obi-Wan.

Anakin sobbed when his limbs were severed, rising to an inhuman howl as his torso touched lava. "I hate you!" he screamed.

Obi-Wan hated himself. He left, because he was a Jedi and it was his job. His resolve steeled, even as tears fell.

5.

Abandoning mortality was peaceful.

He knew he was going to die aboard Vader's ship, could taste his demise in the air. The return to space cleared his lungs of twenty years' worth of sand and heartache. He studied the boy he'd toted along, his hair the color of Tatooine itself, and knew he would be capable.

Luke's journey was only beginning.

He saw Qui-Gon immediately upon death, if not first than definitely most prominently. It thrilled him, even as realization came: "Luke will never forgive me for abandoning him."

Qui-Gon smiled. "He will. I did," he said. It was enough.


End file.
